Enderts Beach and other Secluded Beaches

Is this a good college essay and can someone proofread it?

Walking through the front door of my house, I enter absolute pandemonium. My nine year old brother running around in a towel, my father yelling on the phone, my mom grinding geometry into my younger brother Jose’s head, and my two older brothers getting tutored in the corner of the living room. Alongside all this is the continuous chirping of our birds and the barking of our dogs. All just a typical day in the life of the Alencars! Having lived in several places during my lifetime, it is clear that my parents find it important to educate me about different cultures and places. My parents have always stressed the importance of education to their sons and that is one of the reasons why we have traveled so extensively during summer and Christmas vacations. And, yes, we always take the entire family, including the birds and dogs. As I reflect upon my life, my changing surroundings and the constant chaos that my family creates has helped shape my understanding of more than just the world around me—it has also shaped my appreciation for my family itself. I can distinctly recall sitting in a crowded beach, under the warm sun, when a soothing breeze hit me as I overlooked the ocean. My hometown of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil is known for its soccer, carnival atmosphere, amazing landscapes, and beautiful beaches. Sadly, it is also known for drug trafficking, shootings, and other illegal activities. I was born and spent my early youth in Brazil, where I was constantly surrounded by my large family. It was, therefore, a major struggle for my father when he decided to move my family to the United States. As I grew older, I learned that my family history is quite an interesting one. For example, my grandfather, Marcello Alencar, is a well-known politician in Brazil. His most memorable positions were being twice mayor of the city of Rio de Janeiro and governor of the state of Rio de Janeiro. As a result of his position and the many dangers found in Rio, my boyhood memories there always include the presence of a bodyguard by my side. I liked him a lot, but my parents had strict rules about respecting his privacy and not going into his possessions. One day, however, I was playing soccer in the house and miss-kicked a ball that rolled into his room. Once inside, my curiosity overcame me and I opened a closet door, only to find a gleaming silver pistol. Being impetuous, I quickly grabbed it, but then immediately put it back. This memory still haunts me to this day, for it reminds me of the dangers of living in Rio. By 2000, Brazil had become very dangerous, and my family thought it was time for a change. In contrast, Connecticut had always stood out in my parents mind as a safe place, with great educational opportunities and a perfect place to raise kids. After a trip there in 2000, they decided we should settle in the town of Westport. Although it was a far cry from the natural beauty of Rio, my brothers and I were excited about trying something new. Once there, I quickly developed my love for tennis and made it a goal of mine to become a professional tennis player. To accommodate my new aspiration, my father looked into tennis academies, mainly in the southern states, where the competition is greatest. He discovered IMG Academies in Bradenton, Florida, where Nick Bollettieri coaches. My family then moved to Bradenton, and I began my training at IMG. After five years, however, I decided to shift my focus from sports to academics, and chose to enroll at the best college prep school in the area, Saint Stephen’s Episcopal School, for my last two years of high school. My story, alas, is not the typical one, for I did not go out and achieve my goal of becoming a professional tennis player. Instead, I have taken a more balanced and pragmatic approach, where I decided to become more focused on my schoolwork and less on sports. My past includes many fluctuating variables such as my environment and goal, but the one that has always kept constant was my family. That said, what I continue to value most of all is that I have two parents who have loved and supported me in every way possible, not to mention four brothers who always challenge me to do better at everything I do.

Public Comments

1. woah I would take the pro tennis player